Thursday, September 08, 2005

The great turn inward

Reasons not to have a baby:
  1. It is pure folly and hubris to bring a child into this crazy, mixed-up world
  2. There are too many disadvantaged children in the world already who need homes like ours
  3. I'm only 29
  4. No more trips to Africa (at least not for a while)
  5. No more trips to Asia (No! Say it ain't so!)
  6. The inevitable serious career setback
  7. The end of our rock n roll lifestyle
  8. The inevitable move from our super-swank little shack to a larger, more mundane house in a less exciting part of town
  9. The red-faced asking of parents for money for a down payment for said house
  10. The risk of becoming "that annoying couple with the baby"
  11. Being pregnant
  12. Giving birth

Reasons to have a baby:

  1. Raising a thoughtful, worldly, considerate, socially-minded child who will grow up to make a difference and will help move the world in the right direction
  2. I'm almost 30
  3. The kid will be smart
  4. Educational, socially- and environmentally- respectful trips to exotic places with child in tow (when we can afford them)
  5. We're thinking we might want to have more than one kid and if we have one now we can space them out so we don't have to squeeze them out all at once and have 3 children under 5 years old and become those harried, exhausted parents who've grown old before their time that you see in the children's book section of Borders
  6. The much needed kick in the ass to force us to start saving and jumping onto the adult band wagon and building up equity and ... sigh...
  7. Fulfilling my biological reason for existence
  8. Being pregnant
  9. Giving birth
  10. Becoming a better person because I suddenly have a kid and it's all about the kid and I want to be a good person for my kid

12 reasons not to, 10 reasons to. Anyone have anything to add on either side?


At 4:20 PM, Blogger Lizzie said...

18 years and 9 months from now we'd have one more voter in our camp. The religious right is outbreeding us so we need everyone we can get. Maybe not the best reason to have a baby though. I'll try to think of more.

At 4:22 PM, Blogger Lizzie said...

by the way, a baby wouldn't necessarily mean no more trips. Look at Angelina Jolie. Her 4 year old has probably been to more countries than I have in my 27 years.

At 4:44 PM, Blogger Heather B. said...

I agree with Lizzie. The religious right is coming on strong and we need all the help we can get.

Then again once it turns two, people may start to shy away, because suddenly those things become out of control (I say that in the nicest way possible).

But it will only be two for a year then it will be normal again. And cute, and when you recite Maureen Dowd to it, it will start to pick up on these things and become brilliant.

That's just my personal opinion

At 5:05 PM, Blogger Noisette said...

Lizzie- indeed, but what if he/she's an Alex P. Keaton???

Heather- the terrible twos. Ugh.

I'm also not looking forward to being the person everyone hates on the airplane.

At 7:20 PM, Blogger Lizzie said...

Alex P. Keaton?! I never thought of that. Now you're making me question what I want. I just assumed that I'd have a girl who I would speak french to from infancy and who would attend political rallies with me and wear liberal t-shirts like I do just to piss people off. I never imagined the possibility of my kid disagreeing with me and, horrors of horrors, being a republican (or a boy for that matter). Ugh- this is a complicated decision!

At 8:04 AM, Blogger St. Dickeybird said...

I agree with Lizzie and Heather.
You can mold a person hopefully into your version of "good."
To help someone grow into a child, then into an adult must be exhilarating.

That said, the reasons for not parenting are good too.

At 12:15 PM, Anonymous He's Dead, Jim! said...

Age 29 is a great age to have a child. Your body will snap back from the "childbirth/delivery" debacle much better when you are younger than it will if you wait.

If, indeed, you want more than one child, consider adoption of your next child. Perhaps a non-infant from a war-ravaged country?

We need more smart, aware people in the world. I am sure your child will be one of them...


At 1:34 PM, Blogger elisabeth said...

You can just move to Canada or some other incredibly communist country, where the government actually encourages reproduction and offer paid maternity leave (dunno if Canada does, but they ought to) and gives you a guarantee that you'd have your job back after 12 months.

(Why do I always sound like some obnoxious anti-American b##ch on this comment board? Maybe because I am one... No, not really.)

Anyway - you gotta have them anyway, so why not when you're at least young and fit enough to run after them.


And if they give you the $hits, Dr Phil has all the advice you need.

(This freelance writing business makes for way too much time for watching daytime TV...)

OK I'll shut up now. :)

At 2:24 PM, Blogger Noisette said...

Thanks for the advice! I love the idea of adopting our second child. Seriously- it's the best of both worlds.
Lizzie- I think you and I were separated at birth. Although I was born 2 years before you... hmm...
Elisabeth- they have Dr. Phil in Norway??? I'm so sorry.

At 2:38 PM, Anonymous industry whore said...

Ummmmmm question. How are being pregnant and giving birth reasons to have a baby?? Getting fat and vomiting for three months at a time, then having one's vagina ripped apart would be on my con list.

At 2:40 PM, Blogger industry whore said...

aha, now i see that pregnancy and childbirth are on both lists and i'm an idiot. hey, one more reason for me not to have a child - pass on bad genes.

At 2:52 PM, Blogger Noisette said...

Point taken, though, IW- perhaps that should come off my "pro" list. I'm delusional to think that pregnancy and childbirth will be some sort of life-affirming experience. What was it Simone de Beauvoir said? "Pregnancy fucking sucks?" Something like that.

At 12:47 AM, Blogger elisabeth said...

Noisette - yep, but I kinda like Dr Phil...:) He's less annoying than Oprah, anyway!

Here's a pro-child argument: Social reasons!
At least I feel totally left out of the conversation at work when all the 28+ women start their daily "diapers/childcare/pregnancy/kids TV/cute things kids say"-rant...
All I can do then is to hang out with the boys. But they only talk about football.
And since I'd rather talk about diapers than football - well, a kid it is!

But the vomiting and weight gain and no alcohol & coffee, would be scary. However, you could treat the whole 9 months like an experiment... look at it as a chance to finally get into organic living and yoga and all that Gwyneth Paltrow-stuff...

At 2:06 PM, Anonymous seamus said...

You know, there's no federal law requiring people with babies to own a home. The baby doesn't know you're in a rental. Homeownership sucks.


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